It's okay to say goodbye to people
who leave you more deflated,
exhausted, and in less
control of your own life,
than when you
first met them.
To live within frameworks.
In this lifetime, an individual soul creates a framework that requires:
-learning to function within the confines of the box,
-learning to work outside the confines of the box,
-learning to step outside of the box.
The box can be represented as many things. Examples of the box are fear, control, neediness, community, togetherness, unity, solidarity, individuality, growth, family, sheep mentality, death, culture, and of course, the list can grow.
Some are here to live as individuals. They are to journey within the self or express themselves externally. Still, many have no concept of such an individual path. The box is their framework of life, and they are here to learn to become the best of themselves and shine within the box. This framework or box can be very constrictive or very open.
I mentioned to a friend that I could not understand how anyone can live just for the family? They need to find themselves and become strong within, so they are not reliant on others to fill their lives. She looked at me, almost apologetically, and said, "But that is all I want; that is who I am."
Hmmm, I became thoughtful.
Her box is her family. Her life journey is to hold a space for the family. She is the one who glues the fabric of the family and happily grows within the confines by living in the box parameters.
She is staying within her soul work.
She will always stay within the box, even though a particular box is too constrictive, sad, or fearful; this is my judgement rather than seeing we all attend different life learning, and mine is but one way, not the absolute way.
We can walk in and out of different boxes, bump up against other boxes. It is not up to us to decide which box another person lives in, nor is it helpful or healthy to stay in a box when it feels very wrong. We all have our framework, and it is okay to say goodbye to those frameworks (those boxes) that feel foreign and to move towards discovering your box. Sadly, often, it is necessary to say goodbye to another and let them live in their box, and you to live within or out of your box.
Our choices in this lifetime are to expand ourselves, not to feel small or less than ourselves.
It does take courage to live within your framework.